It’s just me. How often have you said this in conversation? I use it a lot. I ring my mum and say “Hi, it’s just me.” She always replies “Hello just you”. It was funny the first time, then it felt funny, and I didn’t realise why. This morning I was dusting my bedroom. I did my bedside table, my dressing table and as usual, went to walk past my mirror. It’s one door or a sliding wardrobe, and it’s really big. It was also covered in handprints from my two year old daughter and was a mess. I usually walk past and ignore it, because it’s an effort to clean, and it’s only me that uses it, only me who’ll see the marks. Only me.
Recently I’ve been trying to be more conscious in what I say and what I think, trying to keep my thoughts and words positive, so maybe it was that that made me stop, walk back to the mirror and spend a few minutes really polishing it till it shone. Because it might have only been me that would see the mucky marks, but I’m realising “me” is the most important. As I was polishing, I wondered how many other things I don’t do, say, respond to because it’s “only me. With a husband and three kids I do a lot of washing and ironing each week. I have a couple of ironing afternoons, and I iron clothes in order. Husband’s first – I hate ironing shirts, so getting them over and done with feels best. Then the boys’ uniform for school. They come second because if I’m pushed for time, the uniforms do shake out ok most of the time, I just prefer ironed clothes. Their causal stuff comes next, and then my daughters (mainly cause she has SO many clothes I could not wash or iron her stuff for a month and she’d still be ok!). I iron my stuff last. Sometimes, well, a lot of the time, I don’t get time to do my stuff. Despite the fact I love ironed clothes, love how they feel, and hate putting on clothes that haven’t been ironed because they make me feel a bit run down and scruffy all day. I do mine last or not at all, because it’s only me.
There are lots of other examples in my life where I constantly put myself last, and where I would hazard a guess no one else would even notice. So this week at least, I’m going to really concentrate on not using the phrase “It’s just me” or “It’s only me”, whether to anyone else or even to myself. I’m going to make the effort to iron my clothes, polish my mirror and do things that reassure my heart that I am just as important as the rest of my family.
Have a think as you go through this week. Do you always put yourself second? Do you need to? Can you make yourself as important as those you look after? Could you even *gasp* put yourself first?!